DON’T WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW!

Responses are trickling in, in onesies and twosies, as our readers are weighing in, responding to our “First Reader Survey.” We apologize for the delay in posting the March 3 blog—we had a computer glitch. We’re delaying the tabulation of these responses until more come in. But preliminary responses encourage us to hold the course with what has been posted the first year and a half. More on that later.

* * * * *

It has been said that when each of us approaches the autumn of our lives, and looks back, invariably there are many regrets. One of the few exceptions has to do with memories: almost none of us regrets the expenditure of money that made memories possible. Where we do fault ourselves has to do with not making them.

It is so easy, in this journey called life, to postpone vibrant living on the pretext of not having enough money. In reality, with very few exceptions, we always have money for what we really want to spend it on.

Some years ago, in a large Sabbath School in Texas (our average attendance over a thirteen-year period was around 300—all the chapel would hold), I administered a survey. First of all, I asked each person there to look back through the years and rummage around in their minds for the ten most meaningful incidents or events in their lifetime. At the end, they were to rank them according to the long-term impact on the rest of their lives. Then I devoted the rest of the hour to the process, including the prioritizing. Each person would hand in the summation—no names expected—and quietly walk out. There was absolute silence—I can never forget that.

A week later, I reported on the results. So unexpected were they that I subsequently tried the experiment on other groups—invariably, the results remained the same.

What I fully expected were “big” events: job promotions, honors received, brand new cars, winning big games, inheriting a large estate or a great deal of money—but I didn’t get them. What people valued most in retrospect were memories. Most were surprisingly simple, such as the following:

  • One remembered the night her boyfriend broke up with her; she’d escaped to her room, unable to face anyone with her grief. There came a soft knock on her door. Then her mother came in, took one look at her daughter’s tear-stained face, crawled over to her, took her in her arms, and held her all night, not leaving until dawn—thereby forging a bond that lasted for life.
  • A heart-stopping sunset seen from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.
  • The look of absolute trust and adoration on one bride’s face, as she looked at her husband-to-be as she came down the aisle on her father’s arm.
  • A never-to-be-forgotten Christmas when there was no money to buy gifts; Dad was out of work and Mom was expecting within only weeks. So they each made their presents with whatever was available, and decorated the scraggliest excuse for a tree anyone could imagine. Yet, in retrospect, so much love was expressed that, with no exception, every member of the family considered that Christmas to be one of the fondest memories of their lifetimes.
  • A son of missionary parents begged, borrowed or scraped up enough money to travel clear across America in a bus to Miami, where he boarded a plane to the island in the West Indies where his parents lived—and, totally unannounced, walked in on them on Christmas Day. Later he would say, “The look of unbelieving shock on Mom’s face when she looked up and saw me standing there—well, it’s as clear in my memory as though it were yesterday!
  • A teen-age daughter who felt estranged from her undemonstrative father, on a vacation, was reluctant at first to accept her father’s invitation to take a walk with him down the beach. But she agreed to go. Sunset came and went, night fell, and he opened up his heart to her, telling her, in halting words, how much he treasured her, loved her; and she, in turn, shared her long pent-up dreams with him. Arm in arm, they walked that beach far into the night.

Relationships. Feelings. Family. Love. What failed to appear on those 300 survey responses were all the things our media and advertisers tell us are essential to happiness: new cars, expensive gadgetry, job promotions, honors, luxuries, large inheritances, winning big games, buying mansions or yachts or expensive jewelry.

I’ve never been able to look at life the same since.

Epiphanies—we never see them coming, don’t recognize them when they’re happening; only in retrospect do we realize how different our lives would have been had that one day never been. That long-ago survey represents just such a day in our personal journeys. Connie and I resolved to stop postponing living: “Someday—we’ll do this.” “Someday, we’ll travel here, there,” realizing that “someday” never happens unless we will them to; unless we sacrifice to make them happen.

Even though we were always short of money, we traveled with our two children, Greg and Michelle, to beauty-spots all across the nation. Oh we wondered if it was worth it when they bickered constantly in the back seat, and complained until we wanted to scream—and occasionally did. So how passing strange it is to hear them reminisce (now that they’ve grown up and established homes of their own) about the wonderful things they saw and experienced during those long-ago trips: “We were so lucky! Most of our friends never got to see all those places that we did!”

IN CONCLUSION

So . . . I urge each person reading these lines to resolve to henceforth live each day of life to the fullest, and make lasting memories—real ones, not vicarious electronic ones—with their loved ones, families, and friends. For none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow.

We only have this moment!

What about you? Looking back over your own life, what are your own favorite memories? Please let us know during this week.

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Published in: on March 9, 2011 at 8:54 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Thanks, I needed that.

  2. Like you some of my most memorable memories are the trips we took with our family (either camping trips or trips to see LaVerne’s family in Wisc. sometimes camping along the way to get there) and the ones we have taken as a couple. We have been known to start out on a trip to LaVerne’s family in Wisc. with only $10 in our pockets-we would take a relative back to Wisc. with us to help pay our way back and LaVerne would work enough for his brother while we were there to get us the money to make our way home again. We are now taking trips and cruises while we can so we have memories (that is if we still have our memories then) when we can no longer travel. The family and couple trips have been worth any sacrifices we have had to make to take them.


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